I’m sure most of you’ve been on an airplane at least once and remember the flight attendant giving you the emergency instructions; in case of loss of oxygen, the parents should place their oxygen mask first and then put one on their children. It makes sense, doesn’t it, because the parent first needs to be capable of helping the child.
This applies not only to airplanes but also to our everyday lives. We are so busy taking care of others or bringing in the income to support our families that we often forget to put on our own “oxygen mask” first so we are able to help others with theirs.
Now, I can hear the objections already. Some of you may say to yourself: It’s selfish to think of myself first. I’m not a good person (wife, mother, grandmother, you name it) if I put my needs before others. Well, consider this. Do your family, friends, or business associates deserve a tired, unhealthy, “not present” you who are overwhelmed, burned out, and exhausted?
Or — do they deserve someone healthy, giving, present, energetic, and even FUN? Which person would YOU rather be with?
Also, ask yourself, do your loved ones have a role model who shows them how to care for themselves in mind, body, and spirit? Do they have someone who shows them how to serve from a fullness of spirit or one who is cranky, constantly tired, and too busy to spend time with them? You decide because it’s up to you.
We need to take care of ourselves! If we show up for ourselves, we can show up for others, and it will spread. What if everyone showed up full of life, health, vigor, and wanting to be of service to one another? This would be a very different world.
Really examine what it is you are putting first in your life, and if it’s not your health (body, mind, and spirit), your greatest asset, you are shortchanging yourself and those you love and care about. Don’t make your life about quantity — make it about quality.
Busy is the name of this game. We hear it a lot at our fitness studio — I was too busy to walk that mile today, or I have to cancel my appointment because I have to work late, or I’ve got a last-minute errand to run.
As long as we believe we don’t have enough time to take care of ourselves, we’ll behave as if we don’t have the time. Our behavior follows our beliefs — it’s a law of life.
What limiting beliefs are you carrying around with you?
8 Responses
I loved reading about the ‘Me-First Principle’ because it gave me further permission to know I’ve been doing the right things. You see, 2 years ago, I got pretty sick, in the hospital for 3 weeks, 4 weeks of antibiotics thru a pic line and then a surgery a few months later. I had to pay attention to these signs because how many had been put in front of me over the years to slow the ‘F’ down! I’ve been able to implement some fabulous self-care habits that speak to me and stopped this ‘hurry-up, rush, rush, rush physical and mental attitude’ and it seems I’ve actually been more productive because I’m taking care of me first. What a concept and now I received even more permission from the all-knowing Canna Crone herself. Thank you Taru!
Thank you, Val! I am so happy you are putting self-care into your life. You do SO much for the Women Make a Difference community, we need you fresh and raring to go. I’ve watched how you are implementing your own path to well-being, and I am impressed.
Taru, love your newsletters, each one speaking to something timely in my life. The “Me-First Principle” is another great reminder that no one needs a depleted crone or a depleted anybody for that matter. We are culturally so taught to put others first and then run ourselves ragged trying to be all things to all people and then wonder why we’re not appreciated for all we do! Putting myself first, I’m able to consider what’s appropriate and important for me and then act accordingly. Thank you for that reminder ~ And I love your writing, it’s so, so good!
Thanks so much for your encouraging words, Sherry! It means a lot to me, and I am so happy you are finding value in my “Love-Letters”, my new name for them. I changed the name because Newsletter isn’t appropriate for what I’m sharing. The next one is coming soon, no later than the 21st of August, so I hope it is also value-packed.
Taru,
I loved this newletter about taking care of yourself first. We women have been conditioned from early childhood to be caregivers to others and to think we are being selfish if we put ourselves first. It has taken us years to believe in the necessity of nurturing ourselves in order to be able to care for others from a place of strength and love. The first love must be for ourselves. Seems like we keep needing reminders to do this!
This made me think of a Mary Oliver poem I love that speaks to this vital issue. Many of you may be familiar with this excerpt The Journey, which brings to mind this kind of homecoming back to ourselves – making this U-turn.
“One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice…
‘Mend my life!’ each voice cried but you didn’t stop. You knew what you had to do…
It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do – determined to save the only life you could save.”
I absolutely love this, Katrina. Mary Oliver is one of my favorite poets, so this poem resonates deeply with me. Discovering our own voices is the prize of a lifetime, and women’s wisdom is sorely needed in this world we inhabit. I’m glad you have found yours!
Dearest Taru!
What a gorgeous conversation–and Mary Oliver too!! OMG!!! And although I teach this and beleive it wholeheartedly, I can also see right now that I need to focus more on my own self-care…Mission accepted. Thank you so much for creating this Community–I’ll be joining you soon. See you on the Solstice! Sending you a BIG WARM HUG
Hi Maia!
Thanks for your response, and I am very happy we will be able to interact more. Self-care is critical for we women, especially as we age. And Community is also critical for the support we need to make these changes.